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These fine fellows don't seem to have a care in the world. Must have been pretty good 'clubhouse guys'. We could probably make an all-sourpuss team with Barry Bonds, Mike Lansing, Mike Marshall (the hitter) etc. but they aren't any fun. Ok here goes...


Jerry Turner
Jerry T - Has the "I just farted and Mom bagged my older brother for it" grin. Perfectly content.


Billy Hitchcock
Billy "Don't all me Alfred" Hitchcock - He must figure, "Hey, Major League managing job. I could get fired any minute. What the heck. Might as well enjoy the big show while I'm up here!"


Marv Staehle

Marv S - Looks all of 9 years old. I always got a kick out of this card. "Look Mom! Gee Whiz! I'm in the Major Leagues and even got my own baseball card. They even gave me this neato Choo-Choo Charlie engineer's hat to wear and everything!". Yeah that's a real convincing baseball cap, Topps Co.! He looks exactly like this diminutive smiley 9 year old kid Mickey that was on my little league team too which makes it even funnier... for me anyway.



Cal McLish
Cal M - As goofy as it gets. Is he asleep or just squinting or did someone crack him up laughing? Didn't Topps have a backup shot? How 'bout one with a baseball cap and a normal expression? He holds the distinction for having the longest name in baseball. He had like a dozen middle names.


Rico Carty
Rico - When you're a kid they flash at you a funny birdie and get you to laugh. Since our grinning friend has probably outgrown that, maybe they are showing a porno flick up on the Jumbotron while Topps is shooting the card photos down on the field. Maybe he's not distracted but is just a really happy guy. Always a colorful player, I think they modeled the big Pedro Cerrano character in Major League the movie after him. Ya know, the huge and superstitious power hitting slugger from the islands with the voodoo shrine. That character was a lot like how Rico's old teammates described him. Maybe Rico is under a voodoo trance here now that I brought it up.


Ty Cline
Ty - Is it Ty Cobb? No it's...Ty Cline! Ladies and Gentlemen. You could hoodwink a lot of gullible neighborhood kids into thinking this guy was the all-time hits leader (before Rose) and have them cough up Aarons and Mayses and Killebrews for him. Always thought he looked like a bobble head doll in this shot. Seems like he is sporting an abnormally large pre-Steroid Era noggin for some reason.


Cline Triple Wins It!
 You could further spin your web, enhancing the manufactured superstar aura around good ole Ty, by showing your naïve and wondrous victim the N.L.C.S. card. With just the right skillful showmanship and panache you could convince your dupe that a triple was rarer than a triple play. The exclamation point really sells it. Thanks Topps.


Cline Scores Winning Run !

If your potential victim was especially stubborn, the coup-de-grace was pulling out yet another N.L.C.S card featuring our clutch hero scoring the winning run thus cementing his vaunted status in the pantheon of baseball superstars. Even if you made yourself appear like some champion of charity and threw in the 2 playoff cards along with the Ty card to get the Hall-of-Fame bound sluggers you were after, you were still way ahead of the game!



Smoky Burgess
Smoky - Hey grampa! I always got the biggest kick out if this card since I thought he looked a lot like my grandfather. He was a funny, cheerful old fellow and he taught me how to play backgammon. So Smoky just had to the be a good guy too I figured.

 


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