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These rambling mini-masterpieces of true
alliterative excess are sure to tickle your funny bone. To get right to
the point about it, these passages most certainly don't get right to
the point! With so many words utilizing the same first letter
jam-packed into them, they seem to to say a lot but actually say very
little. When you are done you will realize that the wacky stories could
have been told more concisely with very little fanfare in a fraction of
the space...and without any overwrought alliteration. But that's no fun!
Once you've read a passage, you can be confident
you've bumped into every important word in the dictionary beginning
with that letter. All the commonly used words are in the passage as
well as ones that are maybe not quite as common but show up on
vocabulary lists frequently. For the sake of practicality, all the
different words containing a certain base word were not necessarily
included. For instance, when I used the word news in my N passage I
didn't necessarily include newsboy, newsreel, newsweekly etc. but I did
utilize newsletter, newspaper, newsroom, and many others. Words of a
highly technical nature like perhaps from the industrial, medical
scientific, or mathematical fields would not be included either since
they are not part of the general population's parlance. For instance,
in my T passage you will surely see a triangle but you won't run into
any tetrahedrons. Capitalized words (proper nouns like names or places
etc.) were used here and there but like in Scrabble, they weren't part
of this game either. If I had any leftover words at the end of a
passage, I made up goofy unrelated news blurbs and used them up too!
I do warn you that this section is probably more
for the cerebral types out there. If you haven't brushed up on your
vocabulary lately, I would suggest you do so before venturing into the
treacherous waters lurking just one click away. Even the most well-read
folks out there may be grabbing the dictionary at some point. Since
it's always easier to guess what an unfamiliar word means when it is in
context within a sentence rather than just on a straight vocab list, it
can actually be a fun intellectual challenge to see if you figured out
what the word meant anyway. After spending such a massive amount of
time concocting, I couldn't help wondering whether this stuff was
outright balderdash or perhaps had some redeeming value. But if I wound
up helping just one person out with their SATs then I guess I did
actually accomplish something.
These passages, not exactly 'quick
hits' or 'fast reads' like the other sections, require an above average
attention span. If you tend to get bored easily and have a tendency to
just scan lines here and there, then I think you will miss some of the
humor within. So chill out, relax, and enjoy!
P.S. The focus was on the first letter, though
often times you will see obvious use of the key letter within words
also to help maintain the flow.
* is for passages recommended by Misakman
as the first ones to read. I guess they're my personal favorites and so
I suggest those particular ones for starters but any one in the whole
bunch is lots of fun! Let me have your feedback on these. I aim to
choose a literary agent and make a book out of 'em when I finish the
alphabet and would like your input! Seriously!
Short Length Passages:
Medium Length Passages:
Long Length Passages:
Extra Long Length Passages:
XX Long Length Passages:
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