These rambling mini-masterpieces of true alliterative excess are sure to tickle your funny bone. To get right to the point about it, these passages most certainly don't get right to the point! With so many words utilizing the same first letter jam-packed into them, they seem to to say a lot but actually say very little. When you are done you will realize that the wacky stories could have been told more concisely with very little fanfare in a fraction of the space...and without any overwrought alliteration. But that's no fun!

Once you've read a passage, you can be confident you've bumped into every important word in the dictionary beginning with that letter. All the commonly used words are in the passage as well as ones that are maybe not quite as common but show up on vocabulary lists frequently. For the sake of practicality, all the different words containing a certain base word were not necessarily included. For instance, when I used the word news in my N passage I didn't necessarily include newsboy, newsreel, newsweekly etc. but I did utilize newsletter, newspaper, newsroom, and many others. Words of a highly technical nature like perhaps from the industrial, medical scientific, or mathematical fields would not be included either since they are not part of the general population's parlance. For instance, in my T passage you will surely see a triangle but you won't run into any tetrahedrons. Capitalized words (proper nouns like names or places etc.) were used here and there but like in Scrabble, they weren't part of this game either. If I had any leftover words at the end of a passage, I made up goofy unrelated news blurbs and used them up too!

I do warn you that this section is probably more for the cerebral types out there. If you haven't brushed up on your vocabulary lately, I would suggest you do so before venturing into the treacherous waters lurking just one click away. Even the most well-read folks out there may be grabbing the dictionary at some point. Since it's always easier to guess what an unfamiliar word means when it is in context within a sentence rather than just on a straight vocab list, it can actually be a fun intellectual challenge to see if you figured out what the word meant anyway. After spending such a massive amount of time concocting, I couldn't help wondering whether this stuff was outright balderdash or perhaps had some redeeming value. But if I wound up helping just one person out with their SATs then I guess I did actually accomplish something.

   These passages, not exactly 'quick hits' or 'fast reads' like the other sections, require an above average attention span. If you tend to get bored easily and have a tendency to just scan lines here and there, then I think you will miss some of the humor within. So chill out, relax, and enjoy!

P.S. The focus was on the first letter, though often times you will see obvious use of the key letter within words also to help maintain the flow.

* is for passages recommended by Misakman as the first ones to read. I guess they're my personal favorites and so I suggest those particular ones for starters but any one in the whole bunch is lots of fun! Let me have your feedback on these. I aim to choose a literary agent and make a book out of 'em when I finish the alphabet and would like your input! Seriously!

Short Length Passages:

Medium Length Passages:

Long Length Passages:

Extra Long Length Passages: